I don’t recall the class or the circumstance, but I remember a middle school teacher telling me, “Pobody is nerfect.” The phrase stuck.
Three months ago, in response to best practices on why it’s important to monitor your name online, I called out Forrester Research analyst Jeremiah Owyang for failing to add a comment on a blog post in response to a request for action.
Three weeks ago, I blasphemed other bloggers for similar reasons.
In that June post, the comment section got heated. Tim Walker criticized me for passing judgment. Phil Gerbyshak agreed with Tim, that the act of saying thank you is the role of the recipient, not the giver. Among other responses, Jillian York and Chris Kieff concurred that nothing should be expected, or asked, in return.
Then there are folks like Seth Simonds and Wayne John who said my beliefs were on-target and I should be commended for acting like Mother Teresa and asking for reciprocity. Go figure.
In the end, I’d like to apologize. I’m sorry for calling out Jeremiah, Tim, and others for failing to respond. That’s their prerogative to do, not mine to ask.
I was reminded of this earlier today by Julie Roads during a Skype conversation we had about a different subject matter. Suffice to say, I apologized to her and said she was right and I was wrong.
I learn something new every day. I usually learn something about the world. Sometimes, like today and my chat with Julie, I learn something about myself. I learned today that it’s not about me but about us. The ebb and flow of our relationship is what makes the world go around and what provides all of us with the impetus to make tomorrow a brand new day.
I have no defense other than that middle school phrase that pobody is nerfect–because to err is human. I’m sorry if my erring frustrates you. I can only try to be better. Thank you for understanding.
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Ari Herzog is an online media strategist and Newburyport City Councilor-Elect.
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, this one really sunk in. You’re right — pobody is nerfect, and it’s making me rethink a lot of my own personal “calling out” practices.
It’s no secret that damn redhead is notorious for calling people out, and frankly I do believe that it needs to be done sometimes. Especially when whatever the action (or non-action) being done is repetitive and/or outright elephant-in-the-middle-of-the-room hypocritical or preposterous. But I know I need to let the seemingly “little things” slide more, or at least not let them bother me so much. People are busy, and people are human, and as humans, we screw up. Or maybe our not acknowledging a hat tip or call to action isn’t as big a deal to us as the reciprocation would be to the one who expects a response.
Either way, it takes a stronger person to admit they’re wrong than one to bask in being “right,” and it’s much more admirable. I’m proud of you.
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Ari,
That is very cool of you to apologize for not being perfect. None of us are perfect but the proud people who never admit to their mistakes miss out on the chance of personal growth.
They also end up ruining most of their relationships and end up alone.(Then they wonder WHY they are alone.)
I loved reading this entire discussion- very interesting.
Kudos to you
Eren Mckay
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Agree with both Stacy and Eren, Ari.
We all make errors in judgement, mistakes, bad calls – call it what you will. Though one person’s mistake is another person’s vindication, so can’t always call that right either!
But coming out and saying, “You know what, on that occasion I feel I was wrong and I apologize” takes you into a whole new level of respect and admiration.
Something a few A-listers could do with learning…
Cheers Ari, nice job good sir.
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To borrow a phrase from our friends across the pond, good on you Ari
Nothing else, just glad to see you’re still developing as a human being. Keep up the great work you do, pal!
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Ari,
The only wat for me to have been able to point out your mistake was to have made it myself before. As a wise man said “those who forget the past are condemmed to repeat it.”
Here’s to learning from our pasts. Well done!
Chris
Nice, Ari…For me, it’s often a situation of acting on emotions, in the heat of the moment. In the old days, we wrote a letter and after it was done we had time to think, ‘Hey, I feel better now! I don’t even need to send that letter.’ But there’s no trip to the mailbox online – we react, respond and hit send. If only all of the ’send’ and ‘publish’ buttons added an extra, ‘Are you totally and completely and truly sure that you want to send that?’ step…we’d all be a little bit *more* perfect.
Thanks for writing this…
Julie
Julie, it’s funny you should mention that since I recently installed the “Undo Send” feature via Gmail Labs. It’s helped me a few times already from sending emails to the wrong people! Not to mention the “Mail Goggles” feature, I’m sure that’s helped more than enough people already.
Good article Ari, and good on you for admitting your fallibility. If I came across as high and mighty, I apologize too, for that was not my intent. It takes a lot of courage to come out and say what you did, and I forgive you. I’m not nerfect either. None of us are.
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I so relate to this as I am always doing spoonerisms – it can be very embarrassing, like I once got Friar Tuck mixed up when I was 11 years old. It is a restaurant and I shouted out we are going to Tr….. F….. tonight! I am certainly not perfect!
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This is a pilly sost to lay the seast. It’s good that you guys got all of this cleared up. Nobody is perfect indeed, we all make mistakes
You’re a good egg, Ari.
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